Doing All The Things: Mediocre Ramblings About Stuff

Afternoon, Subheading: My SFD (Shitty First Draft).  One of my favorite humans is an author named Brene Brown. She has a book that I have been making my way through recently, and it's called Rising Strong. It's a book about what it means to rise up after a failure, loss, etc. and how to do it with integrity. I could quote a lot of things from this book, but this passage currently sticks out:  "When it comes to our SFDs, it's important that we don't filter the experience, polish our words, or worry about how our story makes us look (which is why writing is often safer than having a conversation). We can't get to our brave new ending if we start from an inauthentic place. So give yourself permission to wade through the sometimes-murky waters of whateveryou'rethinkingandfeeling. You can be mad, self-righteous, blaming, confused. Just don't edit and don't try to "get it right."" When I first started reading this book it was a few months a...

Evening,  Subheading: Welp. Unfortunately, I was incorrect in my last entry when I said I was through the worst of the storm. This entry starts off bleak, but hang in there.  "Strangely enough, it all turns out well. How does it? I don't know. It's a mystery." -Shakespeare in Love During much of the week I felt moments away from some unknown disaster. On Monday afternoon I went into my appointment with my PA to discuss new medication, as I promised I would. As soon as she walked in the room though, I had a complete breakdown. I sobbed to her for probably close to a half an hour about various things. When I finished explaining where I was, she told me this was probably something beyond what she could help me with, and asked me how I felt about going to the psychiatric ER. I told her that I didn't want to go if all they could do is sedate me for awhile, give me Xanax, and send me home. That I didn't trust myself anymore, my thoughts were racing, and I was fright...