Doing All The Things: Mediocre Ramblings About Stuff

Morning, Trigger Warning: Suicide. Today marks eight years since my Grandfather's suicide. Every year on this day I try to set aside time to say something thought provoking, funny, heartfelt, anything at all to show him that I'm thinking of him and encouraging others to think of him as well. This year's reflection is going to be a bit of a mess. It's ugly, and raw, and jarring. It's mostly for me to be able to sort out my feelings and process them. If you're looking for a sweet remembrance, you won't find one this year. One year after he passed, I held my baby shower for my son Wesley Joseph. He loves being referred to as Wesley Joe, and each time I call his name, my Grandfather is there like a quiet whisper.  As much as it's a tribute, it's a self imposed penance. No one has pointed their finger at me or held me responsible, nor would they. I didn't do anything. I wish that I could make people understand that not doing anything is e...

Afternoon, Today's Title: When You're At A Crossroads (and there's no Crossroads Demon to grant your wish.) Too many ways. This may come as a surprise to you considering that I have my life completely together and know the answer to all important questions (HAH), but I am currently struggling to come to a decision about something in my personal life. This lead me to think about decision making in general, and what factors we most take into account when weighing pros and cons when we're met with complicated choices. It's never as simple as a list, and I'd like to talk a bit about giving yourself permission to make choices. Now, I should say, I love a good hand written list. There's something very satisfying to my anxious brain about feeling the paper underneath my hands, having the pen slide fluidly over the page, and getting that smudge of ink on my pinky knuckle because I hold my pen like a weirdo. The problem with lists (of the pros vs cons va...